Your words and Mine

    

   

    Communication works for those who work it. But oh man is it crazy hard to work! One of my biggest struggles has always been communication, and not in the sense that I don't like talking because that is honestly my favorite thing I LOVE meeting new people but communication in the sense of being open about my feeling with others. Letting people know what's going on in Katrina's head and not making them just guess or never know. Why are we as humans so afraid of this?! 

    I think we fear it for a lot of reasons for me at least I fear that other persons' reactions, what they will think of me after if they now know, or will me opening up about this cause them to give me a label of some kind? communication takes work and effort on both parts.

     You as the listener have to be willing to listen and to show sincerity and real interest. Showing true inquiry using statements like "I'd love to hear more of your feelings?" shows validation in the way you ask questions, show empathy. I know if little Katrina had a friend who would listen like this it would've meant the world to her. It is the little things in care that go the longest way. In class, we went over five ways to show this true care in confrontation with someone. 

    1.  The Disarming Technique- find truth in what the person you're with is saying even if it may seem completely unreasonable. This will allow you to be able to better form empathy and help you become more invested and want to listen!

    2.  Empathy- Try your best to put yourself in their shoes. This doesn't mean you tell them you know how you feel, but try to think about what you would do or how it would make you feel. Do this by thought and by feeling, acknowledge how that person is feeling. 

    3. Inquiry- ask gentle questions to learn more about what they may be feeling, listen to where they're coming from there may be something going on you don't know about, or they may be going through something really hard that is causing this. 

    4. Use "I feel" statements, express your own feeling in straightforward but loving ways, rather than expressing your emotion express your feeling in a respectful way. 

    5. Stroking- show respect, even you're upset with them find something genuinely positive to say to the other. 

    All together these steps create Empathy, assertiveness, and respect for the other individual you may be talking with. It is so important to create this culture of love within your own home and family and life. When one can communicate with true love and respect their ability to form deeper relationships goes so much further. We cant push things off all the time or try to pretend something didn't happen. Bottling things up in this way does more harm than them good. Understanding others points of view is important because we all see the world in our own point of views, we all view it within our own circumstances and within the way we grew up. We all look through our own belief windows and see the world with different principles and rules that we've drawn on our view points. Seeking to see through others windows brings a sincearity and a connection unlike anything else.