Unity

    “I want my life and my marriage to look less like the world and more like Christ.”

—Marquis Clarke 

    

My best friend who taught me how to communicate. 

    Planning a wedding is more than just the white dress and tie, there's so much more work that goes into it that makes the world of a difference in the long run. It starts with the engagement and goes on from there. Many couples will plan a wedding one-sided, I saw this in each of my siblings when they got married it was a lot of "my dream is this...." from the wife and then "whatever you want..." from the husband there was no unity in planing! the wife had it set to what she wanted and he just went along with it. Though this seems like the easiest way out it's not the best. This is your first chance to plan something big together! It's not something to throw away and let the stress be on the other. It's more than just the wedding, as you plan in unity you grow closer. You learn to communicate with others and compromise whether that's meeting in the middle, doing what one wants, or coming up with completely new ideas! Couples who work together and plan together, stay together. 

    Why is communicating like this so hard?  Seeing so many couples struggle with this always made me question where it was coming from. Looking at my own parents it's easy to see the sources. My dad grew up in a very old fashion home. He grew up on a farm where his dad was the head of the household in everything they did. His father was very tough love, if you had a problem with something you forgot about it and moved on, you didn't communicate your feelings you kept them in and to yourself. Being the oldest in the family he was often put in charge of a lot of things as well and forced to be the grown-up and make the big choices with his siblings. Now on my mom's side, her dad was in change but her mother made most of the big calls, she had a very loud opinion and a hard head, because of this my mother became more quiet and not so loud-spoken. She went the opposite way than my dad. Looking at their marriage now both of these sides are so very prevalent. My Dad calls the shots and my mom goes with it, which seems like it would work most of the time....but in turn it makes things worse because what if my Mom doesn't like the shot called. Now Mom is upset and not happy and then Dad isn't used to communicating. 

    Our backgrounds and the ways we have been raised effects so much of the way we communicate in our lives now. The things we learn as kids we hold on to, that being said it's always possible to continue to learn and change. God doesn't want us to stay where we are, he loves us as we grow and as we learn. Communication was part of the grand design God couldb=nt have sent his son to the earth without communication. Jesus Christ wouldn't have been able to do what he did without communication, We communicate with God daily. If we expect God to communicate with us back, we must learn to communicate with his children. He speaks to us through them and he will speak to others through you. communication is a divine Christlike character that we must always continually work on. Starting now.